Hardest Religious Trekking Practice

Triangular  Neurosis 
Now I have been with an extremely rare disease for some time. It is as rare as to give me a strange confidence that never all through human history has there been a person who experienced my disease. The symptom is as follows. " Oh my God,over there are standing many houses with triangular shaped roofs!"
 " Look, the shape of the
pointer on the Web is triangular!" " On this table
cloth are drawn many triangular shaped forms"
Every time I make this kind of unwanted discovery
, my mind gets upset. In this way my disease makes me abnormally aware of the existence of
any kind of triangular shaped forms whenever they come into my sight. Lately I started to feel it
a scare to even keep my eyes open because of fear
of disturbing objects jumping into my sight anytime. Day by day my mind is getting darker and darker and I feel as if my mind were driven into a dark corner.
Encounter a mind-shaking book
It was in such a state of my mind that I encountered a book. The book is about the extreme Buddhist trekking practice by an ascetic who walked the course of 48 km every day along the mountain path. It was a book written with sweat, blood and tear, confessing his inner battle in his mind. He said as if he were persuading himself, " However bad physical condition I, an ascetic, may fall in, I must walk even in torrential downpour. I experienced  many agonies such as high fever over
39 °C , diarrhea which attacked me every hour ,
an swollen leg due to a blow and so on. It was the time when I must kill myself that I discontinued 
walking." As I read the book telling the record of
tremendous practice, a lonely battle  within himself , I gradually  started to feel ashamed of myself for being worried about my small present
problem and the feeling of shame was followed by
something like the gush of vitality , destructive in
a way, rising from within the depth of my mind beyond human logic and reasoning-power. 
What  makes you stand up again?
High fever, severe headache which kept ringing in
his head and stomachache caused by medicine
taken for reliving unbearable pain in his leg.
Even in such a hopeless condition an ascetic is not
allowed to see a doctor because of the uncompromising rule. When he says, " I had no
other choice but walk 48km every day." the words
of unshakable determination brings a strained air 
to our loosened mind. The name of the ascetic is 
Shionuma Ryojun . He is a priest who challenged 
three kinds of life-or-death Buddhist practice and
accomplished all of them. 
When we are really driven into corner, tender words can't help us stand up thoroughly. Fighting 
instinct which makes us roar in critical situation,
"Forget a well-behaved manner! Damn! Never will
I be defeated!" and ultimate self-dignity to believe " I am not
such a weak person." become the last driving force
to stand up at the very last moment. The book reminded me of it again. Now to begin with , I'd
like to write his first challenge of 100-day spiritual
trekking practice.
     100-Day Spiritual Trekking Practice

The spirit to blow off weakened mind
when our mind gets trapped in a situation with no
way out and stay long there, the weakened mind is
likely to start dominating our whole mind. When it happens, the words uttered from the mouth of an
ascetic gives us courage to blow off darkened mood hanging over deeply in our mind. 
The ascetic walks muttering," I must keep walking
in any kinds of condition. When I can't , I only have to cut my stomach. Right, left, one step by
one." But when he says so, his voice doesn't sound
heavy but light , peaceful and transparent,  because perhaps he was ready to accept for anything to happen. 
Only three days after the start of the practice, he
experienced a pain in his right knee・・・・ Soon
he experienced another pain in the other side of 
his leg due to taking care of the injured knee・・・
Both of his legs became just like a stick unable to

bend (He was forced to walk the stairs down    backward )・・・・Then toothache started (Each footstep sent him an unbearable pain to the top of his head. Once he lost consciousness due to pain) ・・・・Then he experienced stomachache due to overdose of
medicine he took to relieve pain in his teeth. 
Even under such an extreme condition an ascetic keeps walking . The image of the ascetic fighting against his weakness slaps my cheek and shakes my mind with positive energy rising up from only God knows where. 
Details of 100 days' practice
This Buddhist practice aims to keep walking only for the sake of walking in any kind of weather for
100 days, with two parts divided. For the first 50
days an ascetic is supposed to cover only one way
of 24km up to the summit of the mountain as high
as 1355m every day and to return the temple the
next day after staying in the Buddhist related accommodation at the summit . For the next 50 days he returns straight back to the temple , walking the distance of as much as 48 km. The first 50 days is considered to be a warming up period but walking up and down along the mountain path is not an easy job for even an experienced climber. Then let's follow an ascetic's daily life.
An ascetic 's daily life
1.  Get up at 11:25 pm 
    (Being dead tired, his brain gets abnormally 
      sensitive to sound, which wakes him up at
    a  little sound. The average sleeping hours is 4 hours.
2.  Go to a nearby river      and carry out the       waterfall practice , reciting a sutra.
     (The temperature of open air is around 4°C.   
          The cold water splashes from the body of an
       ascetic. This waterfall practice is obligatory 
       even when he has a fever higher than 39°C.)
3.  Eat two small riceballs
4.  Put on the costume of an ascetic
5.  Make a start, holding a paper lantern 
     at midnight
6.  On the way at 118 small shrines he stops and

     recites a sutra
7.   Eat two rice balls at 5:00am
8.   Arrive at the summit at 8:30am and eat 
      breakfast at the accommodation at the summit
9.  Return to the temple at 4:00 pm and do washing as usual 
10. Eat supper
11. Write down what came to his mind on the day
12. Go to bed

This is a rough sketch of an ascetic daily life.  All
day long he is supposed to carry out the practice
with dignity and confidence for two reasons. One
reason is that he voluntarily started himself. The other reason is to get a permit for next more challenging practice, the one thousand days' trekking practice.
No gain should be expected
An ascetic encounters many different kinds of dangerous things such as vipers,bears, wild
boars and so on and sometimes must pass very
dangerous places ,which requires excessive attention and concentration . With all these difficulties to overcome , he should not expect anything concrete in return , which is the essence of this practice. But why?
A fundamental Existential question 
A question over the true meaning of our life asked
with despair that worldly  pleasure can never satisfy our mind entirely overturns the foundation

of our way of thinking. You may have, for instance,
a certain goal to pursue in your life. You may be able to live a spiritually rich life until you reach the
goal. But I wonder if you can live through such a life relying on the goal? The world changes and you get old. With the passing of
time your goal which was once shinning loses its
color just like a toy you used to play with. It is not
your goal but you that change. Then is there anything that never loses its color and which you can rely on for your inner life all through your life?
This is a fundamental question of an ascetic.

A blissful joy experienced in despair

Rev. Shionuma recalls his hardest experience,"
Once up in the mountain I was driven to the verge
of desperation and felt that I was at the end of my life. After remaining in such a state , I suddenly felt a stream of flash of all my memories from my 
birth coming to my brain. Then I experienced an 
inexplicable loving feeling for myself, eating a small rice ball in heavy rain. The next moment I felt overwhelmed with indescribable blissful happiness rising up from within the depth of my inner being. 
I may have stepped into the true world beyond our
reasoning-power." Perhaps what he experienced may be similar to a feeling of being embraced in the big arm of nature beyond time and space.
The state of Satori glanced with blood and sweat
A scholar may call the state he expericed " 空kuh" 
 " mindless" and so on. But when he talks about the inner

experience himself , unlike the scholar, how clearly
and freshly his simple words can reach our mind. 
You may say that the state of his mind he experienced has something to do with the world
grasped without contacting between consciousness and objects , where peaceful and eternal time keeps running. I should think that it is there that we can find an unchangeable true life. 
I'd like to get a step closer to the state .
In my next blog I will write about the center of his practices , the one thousand days' trekking practice.

僕を救った究極の仏教の行

The English version of the following blog will follow soon.

三角形ノイローゼ
僕は今、世にも稀有な病気を患っている。おそらく古今東西人類誕生以来僕の様な得体のしれない病気を患った人間は存在しなかったのではないか？と変な自信を持つ程の稀有な病気だ。実は一年ほど前から視界に入る全ての対象物から三角形の形状の対象物だけが異常に気になってしかたがないという病気で「あそこに三角形の屋根が！」「パソコンの表示が三角形の形をしている。」「カーテンのデザインの中に三角形が！」といった具合に、三角形の形状の対象物を見る度に胸はドキドキし、最近では目を開けていること自体が怖くて仕方がない有様だ。「こんな状態で今後生きていけない。」と根本の解決策として「常時眼帯でもしようか」と考える程、日に日に心はへとへとに疲れ始め追い詰められている自分を感じていた。
衝撃的本との出会い
そんな心の状態の時だ。一冊の頭をガツンと殴られる様な衝撃的本に出会ったのは。それは仏教の修行の中で最も過酷と
言われている往復４８㎞を毎日千日かけて踏破する行の心の内を記した本であった。３９度の高熱、１時間毎に襲ってくる下痢、打撲で２倍も膨れ上がった足、どんな肉体的状態に陥ろうとも行者は暴風雨の中でも歩かねばならない。中止する時は常時携行している短刀で自害をしなければならない時だ。そのすざましい修業、自己との戦いを読み進むにつれて
「なんと自分は些細なことで追い込まれているのだ！」と自己は恥じ始めると同時に何か理屈を超えた破壊的ともいえる生命力の根源の様なものが心の最奥部からもたげて来るのを感じた。

極限状態を超えて歩く
高熱、一歩足を進める毎に脳天に響く頭痛、足の激痛を緩和するために服用した薬が起こした腹痛、そうした極限状態でもその規則故に医師にも見てもらうことなく「俺はただ歩くしかないのだ。」と４８㎞の山道を歩き続ける行者の気迫は
語気迫る。


命がけの三種類の行

その行者の名前は塩沼亮潤と言い、彼は死をかけた三種類の行を成し遂げた僧侶だ。本当に人は追い詰められた時優しい甘言は芯から立ち直らせてはくれない。「もう気取ってなんかいられない。」と、「ちきしょう！負けてたまるか！」といった生命体としての剥き出しの闘争本能、そして俺はそんな弱い人間ではない。」と言う究極の自己尊厳が決定的瞬間に支えになるのだ。とこの本は改めて思い起こしてくれる。
まずは塩沼僧侶が最初に成し遂げた百日回峰行について救済本としての観点から記したいと思います。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　百日回峰行

弱気を吹き飛ばしてくれる気迫
袋小路に陥り、八方塞がり出口なしの状態が長い間続くと自ずと弱気の気持ちが出てくる。そんな時「どんな状態でも歩き続けねばならないのだ。それが出来ない時腹を切るしかないんだ。右、左、右、左…」と言い切るときの行者の覚悟した言葉は心に垂れこみはじめた弱気の心を吹き飛ばしてくれるに十分なものがある。回峰行開始からわずか３日目に右膝に痛みが・・・・痛い方の足をかばう様に歩いていると反対側の足にも痛みが・・・・両足は曲がらず足は棒の様に・・・・階段を歩くにも後ろ向きで這うようにして・・・・今度は歯の痛みが（一歩、歩くたびに激痛が脳天に響く）・・・・・ある時余りの激痛に気絶する・・・・今度は痛み止め多量服用の為胃痛が・・・・こうした極限状態の中でも行者は歩き続ける。そんな行者の姿を読み進むにつれてに僕の心の中で武者震いが起こる。「よっし！俺だって！」

ただひたすら歩くの１００日間

この仏教の行は百日間どんな天候でも黙々と歩き続ける行で
前半の５０日と後半の５０日に分けられる。最初の５０日は
片道２４㎞の山道を歩き頂上の宿坊で一泊し翌日同じ道を引き返してくる。後半の５０日は山頂の宿坊に泊まることなく
その日に帰ってくる。つまり前半はウォーミング・アップコー
スで後半は本番コースと位置付けられている様だが、健脚の人でも前半の２４㎞の山道を歩ききることは至難の業であろう。それでは行者の気持ちに成り切って同コースを辿ってみよう。
起床してから出発までの行

１　深夜１１:２５ｐｍ行者       は起床する。蓄積された       極度の疲労の為神経は高       ぶりちょっとした物音に       も目を覚ましてしまうら       しい。平均睡眠時間は４       時間前後と聞く。
２　近くの滝のある場所に行き、経を唱えながら滝行を行う
　　。外気４度ｃ前後、行者の体から冷水が飛び散る。
　　（３９度を超える高熱の時でもこの滝行は義務ずけられ
　　　ている。）
３　小さなお結びを２ケ頬張り朝食とする。
４　山伏の装束を身に着ける。
５　深夜１２：３０出発。提灯の明かりを頼りに歩き始める
　　。携行品:　オニギリ２ケ、水の入った水筒、短刀、杖
　　　　　　　身の傘、ペンとメモ等。

深山幽谷を歩く・そして行者は

６　途中１１８か所の神社、 祠の前で経を唱える。
７　５：００am 辺りは白み始める。朝食（お結び２ケ）
　　食べる。
８　標高１５００ｍを超える。深山幽谷の世界が広がる。
９　８：３０am 頂上到着。宿坊で朝食。
10　帰宅後洗濯等を行う。
11　夕食を取る
12　その日の感慨を日誌に書きとめる
13　７：００am就寝

以上が大雑把な行者の一日の行動であるが、この間行者は一貫して気丈夫に振舞う事を要求されている。それは何よりも
自分のために行っているという自覚と、そのように毅然と行に取り組んでいないと千日回峰行の許可が得られないという現実的理由からでもある。

 一切の功徳は期待せず

行者は山道歩行中さまざまな危険に遭遇する。マムシ、クマ、イノシシ等がそれに当たり、又一歩踏み外せば・・・という難所も細心の注意を払い歩かねばならない。そこまでの
覚悟、苦行を受け入れ何とか本願を成就してもそこで具体的功徳を期待していたらその努力は無に帰するという。その理由は？
行者の根本的問い

「世俗の喜びは決して自分の心を完全に満たすことはないであろう。」と言う深い絶望感の伴った、この世における我々の真の人生の意義の問いかけは我々の思考の根底から覆す。
人生にある目標を持つ。その目標に達するまで人は充実感を感じながら生きることは可能であろう。しかしその目標に心委ねて生涯にわたり人は充実した人生を送れるのであろうか？世は移ろい自分も老いる。するとかつてあんなに輝いていた物が子供じみた色褪せた物に変化する。その対象物が変化したのではなく自分が変化したのだ。では色褪せることなく生涯にわたり自分の絶対的拠り所は存在するのか？ここに行者の根源的問いがある。


絶望状態から生まれる至福の時

塩沼僧侶は語る、「山中ある時、精神的にも肉体的にも追い詰められ、（もう自分の人生もこれまでか？）と思った時、幼少時代からこれまでの思い出が走馬灯のように脳に流れてきた。その時暴風雨に打たれながらお結びを食べている自分がたまらなく愛おしく、心の内から込み上げてくる形容しがたい至福の感情に圧倒された。」彼はその時理性を超えた真の世界の領域に入り込んだのかもしれない。おそらく彼は時空間を超えた大自然の懐に包まれたいう感情を経験していたのかも知れない。
血肉で体得した「空」と言う境地

学者はその境地を「空」「無心」と呼ぶかもしれない。しかし塩沼僧侶がそれを語るとき学者とは異なり何と平易な言葉を使いながら万物が瑞々しく生き生きと我々の心の中に訴えかけるではないか？それはその境地を体得したもののみが語ることの出来る自意識と対象物の間にあるミクロの被膜を突き破った静かな悠久の時の流れる真実在の世界と言えるかもしれない。僕は思う。そこに時代を超えた人生の究極の世界があると。一歩でも近ずきたいものである。

次回のブログでは足かけ９年にも及ぶ千日回峰行について書
きたいと思います。彼の本の中心である。